Hot Wheels

Sun Herald

Sunday May 25, 2008

By John Bastick

The experts have spoken: be it green, mean or the dream machine, these are the cars that any man worth his salt would want parked in the garage. .

If the adage is true that women dress to impress women, the same can be said for men and their cars. A throbbing V8 pulled up alongside a man driving a zippy little hatchback can leave a bloke feeling, well, inadequate.

According to Ged Bulmer, editor of Aussie motoring bible Wheels, there are certain cars men simply cannot be seen in - the Citroen 3C Pluriel, Peugeot 206 CC, Mercedes-Benz Smart ForTwo or the "sewing machine on wheels", Nissan's Micra. "The Smart ForTwo is tiny, underpowered and designed for cramped European cities, not our wide open spaces," says Bulmer. "And the Nissan Micra is as cute as a button but who wants to be seen driving a button?"

So, which cars scream "bloke"? To find out, we've asked the experts - motoring editors, dealers and manufacturers - to anoint the best family, sports and green-friendly cars and four-wheel-drives. All had a similar brief: "If money were no object, what would you be driving?" The definitive argument settler? Argument starter, more like...

THE FAMILY MAN'S CAR

Winner: BMW M5

Honourable mentions: Mercedes-Benz ML 63

AMG SUV, Chrysler 300C SRT8 Touring, Holden Commodore SS Sportwagon (to be launched in July), Audi Q7 4.2TDI V8

Becoming a first-time father fills many a man with an impending sense of dread. Worse than the idea of the lack of sleep or sex is the spine-chilling thought

of having to trade in the bachelor wheels for a dull vehicle that can fit a baby capsule. According to Bulmer, a host of cars can carry the wife, kids and dog without making a man look as cool as John and Janette Howard in a fawn-coloured Holden Camira.

"The M5 is one of the coolest, quickest and yet still vaguely practical four-door sedans money can buy," says Bulmer. "It's about the size of a Commodore but comes with an epic 373kW V10 engine." Which means it could tow a house. But be warned, it also comes with a hefty $231,500 price tag.

Toby Hagon, editor of Drive.com.au, says the M5 - one of the world's fastest four doors - is all very well if you want to get to the shops in five seconds flat but for family appeal he votes in favour of the Audi. "It gives you seven seats and an awesome engine and huge performance but it's relatively economical." Even better, at $123,900, it's about half the price.

Bulmer says the Chrysler and Commodore are both roomy, high-performance (read fuel-guzzling) V8s with five seats "and a good-sized cargo bay to accommodate the dog".

THE GREEN GUY'S CAR

Winner: Mercedes-Benz C 320 CDI V6 diesel

Honourable mention: Lexus LS600hL hybrid

When it comes to eco-friendly motoring, the Toyota Prius springs to mind for its low-emission, fuel-efficient hybrid engine that attracts celebrity drivers such as Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio. But Ewen Page, editor of Top Gear magazine - the paper variant of the UK-based TV show - reckons driving a Prius is akin "to having your manhood removed".

Anthony Lucisano begs to differ. "It's definitely not a girl's car," he says. But do we believe him? Lucisano is, after all, general sales manager at Sydney City Toyota. "If a man buys a Prius, far from being laughed out of town, people will think he's savvy with technology, he's up to date and modern, he's thinking of the future and he's driving something that's very special," he says.

But motoring expert Page says diesel-fuelled cars are a better - and more manly -choice when it comes to slick design, speediness, clicks per tank and low emissions. "Diesels used to be about as exciting as truck-stop cuisine but then the Europeans figured out how to make them go fast while using very little fuel," he says. The Mercedes C 320 CDI is "quick, sensible and exciting". And with uber-cool styling, it's deliberately designed to give its sportier Teutonic nemesis at BMW a run for its money. Mind you, at more than $90,000, you'd hope the car saves you a couple of bob at the bowser.

To give Toyota its due, though, it owns the hybrid badge and its luxury range - the Lexus - offers V12 performance on the proverbial oily rag, thanks to a V8 plus an electric motor. However, the price tag for this extra power, says Hagon, is a heavy car that's quite thirsty, with reduced boot space due to the battery. "It also has the most ridiculous amount of gadgets," he says. These include a seat massager that reclines and does shiatsu, and a self-parking system. Plus, at $233,000, it might turn your bank manager a little green about the gills.

THE BACHELOR'S

(OR MIDLIFE CRISIS) CAR

Winner: Aston Martin DB9 Volante

Honourable mention: Mercedes-Benz

CL 63 AMG coupe

Rick Damelian's prestige showroom, in Sydney's inner-west, stocks the kind of cars that come with a price tag similar to the GDP of a small Pacific nation - with emission outputs to match. This car lot is either a motoring fanatic's idea of heaven or a greenie's hell, depending on your take on driving a $600,000 Ferrari V12.

"We don't deal in mundane transport," says Shaun Baker, general manager of Damelian's prestige used-car division. His showroom is chock-a-block with fabulous Ferraris, pulsating Porsches and mesmerising Maseratis - and he tips his hat in

favour of the Aston Martin at $400,000.

"It's my personal choice," he says. "It's elegant, it's sleek, it's sexy and it's not as in-your-face as, say, a Ferrari can be." And it's James Bond's car of choice.

Hagon seconds the Bond factor but adds that the car's features can be a tad tricksy: "For example, the tachometer spins the other way - for no other reason than they're just trying to be different." He adds that the ride can be "bumpy. The Mercedes gives you a bit more luxury. It's basically a two-door limousine."

Baker reckons the Mercedes AMG has the Ferrari's performance, seats four people and is "a fantastic all-round car". If a Ferrari is sexier, faster and a better head-turner, surely it warrants the coolest crown?

"The Ferrari matches everything the Aston Martin does and exceeds it," says Edward Rowe, public relations manager for Ferrari Australia and New Zealand. "Ferrari," he claims, "remains the benchmark all other performance cars are tested against."

Still, are these ludicrously priced sports machines merely compensation for a man's "failings" in the trouser department? "That's one question we never ask our customers," laughs Baker.

THE FOUR-WHEEL-DRIVER'S CAR

Winner: Toyota LandCruiser 70 Series V8

turbo-diesel ute

Honourable mentions: Toyota Prado, Nissan Patrol

What man doesn't love to get back to nature by climbing over the top of it in a terrain-taming four-wheel-drive? According to Dean Mellor, the editor of 4X4 Australia magazine, if you're planning to take in some unique Aussie flora and fauna -and perhaps even shoot it - the Toyota LandCruiser is the vehicle of choice (preferably with bull bar, rock sliders, winch, snorkel, diff locks, spotlights, lift kit and all-terrain tyres). As Mellor says of the 4.5-litre V8: "A thousand Aussie pig shooters can't be wrong."

Hagon, however, points out that the LandCruiser, with its peerless off-road ability and durability, is aimed at the agricultural and mining markets, not the average driver. "It's like a truck to drive and there are no airbags or modern safety features." The Prado, on the other hand, is "brilliant about town", he says. "It still drives like a four-wheel-drive - it's a heavy vehicle - but it has eight seats, a reasonable level of comfort and, with the largest fuel tank on the market, will do Sydney to Melbourne on one tank."

The Nissan Patrol, Hagon says, might have been around since 1998 but remains "one of the preferred cars for a tour across the Simpson Desert".

Glenn Wright, editor of Australian 4WD Action, agrees with Mellor but prefers the larger-model Toyota Troop Carrier. "Out in the bush, if you're not driving a 'Troopy', then you won't be driving far," he says. Among its best features is the car's ability to be "hosed out", clearly making it a considered option for city folk prone to a bout of motion sickness.

"Men who want to go places get there in Troop Carriers," says Wright. "They'd sooner wear a dress and heels to the Birdsville Races than drive there in

a Volvo XC90 four-wheel-drive."

Ah, finally a dig at the perennially maligned Volvo. But is that old cliche still the case? "If you're into bush bashing in the outback and you're wearing your Stubbies and a 'wife-beater' Bonds singlet, then the Volvo is probably not for you," says Volvo Car Australia public affairs manager Laurissa Mirabelli.

"A Volvo is a thinking man's car." She says men don't buy a Volvo to impress their mates; they buy it to impress women. "Anyway," she concludes, "I just read that the slow old Volvo driver is now the Toyota Camry driver."

Opinions about cars are perhaps like women's fashion - always changing.

© 2008 Sun Herald

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